I Cry. . .!

I cry

When the chips fall off my shoulders
When I put up a cowardly bold face
And there is no grave to bury the shame in it
When I find myself doing things I preach against
When I seem to fear myself more than death
When I know I’m not truthful within
And everyone around marvels at my honesty
When I look into the mirror and get scared by what I see
Or when I sit on my bed. .
Thinking of what I said or should not have said

I cry

For every “I love you” I have said without conviction
Or every person I have led in the wrong direction
For every promise I broke
Or curse words that I spoke
For every buried histroy I dug out and sleeping forgotten pains I awoke
I get deep fried in pains like Artichoke
My life gets filled with smoke and the sincerity is choked out of me
At this juncture,

I cry

Qur’an chapter 30:21 is what explains what you are to me
I’m the sun, you are the moon
You are a reflection of me, my thoughts and everything I desire in a woman. . .believe me
Walking and holding hands with you meant so much to me
Everyone staring at us, I’m like “All these attention on me?”
Because everytime I’m with you, its like a blessing for me
Love built on friendship. . .friendship built on love. .. you were Allah’s gift to me
Your smile melted my heart and your voice was a healing for me
I still think about the first SMS you sent to me
Urging me to observe my Shawal . . .you reminded that it’s good for me
You took me closer to the heavens and made the earth long for me
And brought a new born me I never thought existed in me

But how did it all end up in tears for me. . .
Cos I cry everytime I realize you are no longer for me
No longer with me
What went wrong is still a mystery to me
But Allah knows best and knows what is best for me
Whenever I think of you and me

I cry. . .

Amha tagged me the happiest person on earth
Neither because of my wealth nor my berth
Because I seem to be happy all the time when I’m with my folks
And that reminds me of a passage, and I quote

“Allah will not change the condition of a people,until they change the condition of what is within themselves”

End quote
So, tears in my life I outvote
And on joy and happiness I float
Before I close,
I would love to propose
A toast
To the man that smiles when he needs to
Laughs when he needs to
Loves when he needs to
Shares when he needs to
And most importantly, cries when he needs to

I cry