Like a child learning to walk, we fall, get up, hold on to rails, and sometimes still tumble down a full flight of stairs. Sometimes we cry. Other times, we dust our knickers and get right back into the grind.
This time, though, it’s with life.
There are a few things I want to publicly plead guilty to—habits I picked up during my “falling down flights of stairs” phase. Don’t worry, I’m not going to jail… I know that for sure 🙂 Read this like an alcoholic confessing his sins to a toilet bowl.
These guilts cut across my personal, professional, and spiritual life. I’m sure everyone has at least one. I’m just stupid enough to put mine on WordPress. Or brave. Or just stupidly brave.
Let’s start with the personal.
Nigerian Food Abroad…
Okay okay okay… my friends already know this one.
I travel to different countries for work or leisure, and the first thing I do is ask Uncle Claude or Google to find Nigerian restaurants near me, even in Papua New Guinea…!
That idea of “travel the world and try local food”? I am fully for it. But I must have the “sure update” of a Nigerian restaurant within a 10-minute walk, or a 10-hour drive. It’s all the same to me.
I am not a culinary agnostic. My taste buds know where they belong.
Now, this doesn’t stop me from trying other cuisines. Far from it. I go out of my way to. I just need a Chef Obinna on standby somewhere in Casablanca, just in case I need a bowl of obstacled-okra with poundo delivered.
Also, I must confess. I have the same soft spot for Ethiopian food. If Nigerian food is unavailable, send me a tray of injera any day, anytime.
So if we’re out and I keep yapping about finding a Naija spot, it says nothing about the quality of local food. I just want what I want.
I have developed a firm belief that every soil is Nigerian soil—and I have accepted it. There is nothing anyone can do about it 😀
So yes, I plead guilty to “Nigerian food first.”
I Do Not Panic…
I rarely panic, no matter how bad things get.
On the rare occasion that I do, it simply means I am not ready to accept the outcome, which is ironic, considering who I am. This trait has gotten me into trouble more than once, especially with the Mrs.
Once I assess a situation, I don’t dwell. I don’t spiral. I move straight to: what needs to be done?
To me, panic and worry are wasted emotions. And yes, in my opinion. I understand they are valid coping mechanisms for others.
But I see things simply: every situation has two outcomes: solved or unsolved.
If it gets solved, great. If it doesn’t, still fine (sometimes). Either way, I refuse to burn emotional energy before the outcome arrives.
I am for finding solutions. Finding them fast or slow… As long as square pegs end up in square holes.
So yes, I plead guilty to not panicking.
Let’s switch to the professional side.
Sometimes, I Write Dirty Code…
Actually, very dirty.
Let’s be clear: I am a clean code enthusiast. I love structure, readability, standards… all of it.
But.
I find myself writing dirty hacks that might leave the standard platform toolchain dumbfounded like…”is this guy mad or what?” Mostly when I write time bound personal projects or when I am sure I have looked left and right and there is no one standing on my shoulder, I plant the “land mine” and just compile and build without anyone noticing. As long as my tests pass.
Will it explode someday? Probably.
Will I be there when it does? Definitely not 😀 Remember, I do not panic.
This is not an endorsement of dirty code, by the way. But if you were around during the java.net days, you might recall similar confessions from Romain Guy (back when he was at Sun Microsystems before Google/Android).
So yes, I plead guilty… to writing dirty.
Don’t Fight Me Over Email…
You will lose.
Okay, maybe that’s why I wrote this whole piece.
Or maybe not 😀
I strongly believe professional conflicts should be resolved face-to-face or via calls, not emails or texts. Email fights are useless. They only reveal who has better grammar or sharper passive aggression.
The wiser person should call for a meeting immediately. Cut the thread. Clear the air. Resolve it properly.
Everything I just wrote there?
Grammar. Structure. Sounding wise?
Absolute nonsense.
Because I still sometimes choose violence… over email 😀
So yes, I plead guilty to being the smaller person.
Because ehn?
Lastly, and I almost shouldn’t include this because it’s spiritual, and many people deal with it, but still…
I plead guilty to delaying salat, especially when I travel. Meetings, work, movement… excuses pile up, and even shortened traveler prayers get pushed.
It’s not ideal.
But it’s been identified.
And what is identified can be fixed.
So there you have it.
I am not going to jail for any of these. I don’t expect lawsuits. No petitions. No interventions.
Just a man, a few confessions, and a good night’s sleep.
I’m going to bed.