{"id":454,"date":"2026-04-06T03:40:11","date_gmt":"2026-04-06T03:40:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/?p=454"},"modified":"2026-04-06T03:40:39","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T03:40:39","slug":"i-hold-my-breath","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/","title":{"rendered":"I Hold My Breath"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The world can be blurry<br \/>\nBut the truth is not<br \/>\nWritten words can be fuzzy<br \/>\nBut speech is not<br \/>\nI am forced to hold my breath<br \/>\nFor moments I am not expecting<br \/>\nMy shadow has my soul at gunpoint<br \/>\nCompelled to lay flowers on my nemesis<br \/>\nAnd start fires on the graves of my friends<br \/>\nAs if I am a bunch of bliss and abyss (of inferno)<br \/>\nCrammed into flesh<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m wrigling out my heart<br \/>\nFor the last bit of good it has to offer<br \/>\nAs a sacrifice upon the alter made with my own hands<br \/>\nBefore the death knell sounds without warning<br \/>\nI hold my breath for repercussions I do not welcome<br \/>\nAnd for love that is contrary to freedom<br \/>\nI am doing it scared<br \/>\nI am doing it sacred<br \/>\nUnfelterred<br \/>\nFree<br \/>\nI am doing it anyway.<\/p>\n<p>I am Icarus<br \/>\nFlying beside the sun without fear of burnt or melted wings<br \/>\nBecause I am a fool<br \/>\nNot knowing enough to be afraid but enough to be courageous<br \/>\nTo hold my breath for questions I am unable to answer<br \/>\nUntil I gasp out for air, choking on realities that are not mine<br \/>\nBut I am set on marching away from love and war<br \/>\nAs everything in life<br \/>\nIs some kind of love<br \/>\nAnd some kind of war<br \/>\nAnd nothing is fair at all.<\/p>\n<p>A time bomb is ticking and I can hear it<br \/>\nTick<br \/>\nPerhaps it goes off, I&#8217;ll experience Gestalt<br \/>\nTick<br \/>\nPerhaps then, the ratner effect on my being will wear off<br \/>\nTick<br \/>\nPerhaps, these thoughts get blown into fragments and puzzle pieces<br \/>\nTick<br \/>\nTo be solved by my alter ego<br \/>\nTick&#8230;Tick&#8230;.Tick&#8230;<br \/>\nBooommmmm&#8230;.!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The world can be blurry But the truth is not Written words can be fuzzy But speech is not I am forced to hold my breath For moments I am not expecting My shadow has my soul at gunpoint Compelled to lay flowers on my nemesis And start fires on the graves of my friends As if I am a bunch of bliss and abyss (of inferno) Crammed into flesh I&#8217;m wrigling out my heart For the last bit of&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":455,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":64,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I Hold My Breath - Lukman<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Hold My Breath - Lukman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The world can be blurry But the truth is not Written words can be fuzzy But speech is not I am forced to hold my breath For moments I am not expecting My shadow has my soul at gunpoint Compelled to lay flowers on my nemesis And start fires on the graves of my friends As if I am a bunch of bliss and abyss (of inferno) Crammed into flesh I&#8217;m wrigling out my heart For the last bit of&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lukman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-04-06T03:40:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-04-06T03:40:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1536\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lukman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lukman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Lukman\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96\"},\"headline\":\"I Hold My Breath\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-04-06T03:40:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-04-06T03:40:39+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\"},\"wordCount\":280,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Poetry\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\",\"name\":\"I Hold My Breath - Lukman\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-04-06T03:40:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-04-06T03:40:39+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png\",\"width\":1536,\"height\":1024},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I Hold My Breath\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/\",\"name\":\"Lukman\",\"description\":\"Me in 4 Nutshells\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96\",\"name\":\"Lukman\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a75f8a1133dbd0d25f80c79109b6dfd3179059c5ae0109ca2bcc3aa05c714642?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a75f8a1133dbd0d25f80c79109b6dfd3179059c5ae0109ca2bcc3aa05c714642?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Lukman\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/author\/admin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Hold My Breath - Lukman","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I Hold My Breath - Lukman","og_description":"The world can be blurry But the truth is not Written words can be fuzzy But speech is not I am forced to hold my breath For moments I am not expecting My shadow has my soul at gunpoint Compelled to lay flowers on my nemesis And start fires on the graves of my friends As if I am a bunch of bliss and abyss (of inferno) Crammed into flesh I&#8217;m wrigling out my heart For the last bit of&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/","og_site_name":"Lukman","article_published_time":"2026-04-06T03:40:11+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-04-06T03:40:39+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1536,"height":1024,"url":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Lukman","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Lukman","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/"},"author":{"name":"Lukman","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96"},"headline":"I Hold My Breath","datePublished":"2026-04-06T03:40:11+00:00","dateModified":"2026-04-06T03:40:39+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/"},"wordCount":280,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png","articleSection":["Poetry"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/","url":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/","name":"I Hold My Breath - Lukman","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png","datePublished":"2026-04-06T03:40:11+00:00","dateModified":"2026-04-06T03:40:39+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/9954fb11-eb96-443e-be06-08424bc67309.png","width":1536,"height":1024},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/2026\/04\/06\/i-hold-my-breath\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I Hold My Breath"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/","name":"Lukman","description":"Me in 4 Nutshells","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/78a62e6239894a2171dba402227b0b96","name":"Lukman","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a75f8a1133dbd0d25f80c79109b6dfd3179059c5ae0109ca2bcc3aa05c714642?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a75f8a1133dbd0d25f80c79109b6dfd3179059c5ae0109ca2bcc3aa05c714642?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Lukman"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com"],"url":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=454"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/454\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":457,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/454\/revisions\/457"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/455"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukmanjaji.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}